Keychains

$7.00
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Because Your Keys Deserve an Identity Crisis

Tired of bland keychains that say absolutely nothing about your personality, politics, or pop culture obsessions? Enter our wooden keychains: handcrafted slabs of sass, pride, and questionable life advice. Whether you're repping your fandom, flexing your patriotism, fighting for equal rights, or just here for the jokes—we've got a keychain that screams you, but in a tasteful, laser-engraved kind of way.

Features:

  • Made of wood, because plastic is for people who still say “YOLO.”

  • Laser-etched with messages ranging from “Fight the Patriarchy” to “I’m Only Here for the Snacks” (but not on this product, calm down).

  • Small enough to fit in your pocket, loud enough to start a conversation—or a mild argument.

  • Perfect for gifting, protesting, motivating, or passive-aggressively reminding someone they’re wrong.

Basically, they’re tiny wooden soapboxes for your keys. Clip one on and let the world know you’re not just unlocking doors—you’re unlocking vibes.

Design:

Because Your Keys Deserve an Identity Crisis

Tired of bland keychains that say absolutely nothing about your personality, politics, or pop culture obsessions? Enter our wooden keychains: handcrafted slabs of sass, pride, and questionable life advice. Whether you're repping your fandom, flexing your patriotism, fighting for equal rights, or just here for the jokes—we've got a keychain that screams you, but in a tasteful, laser-engraved kind of way.

Features:

  • Made of wood, because plastic is for people who still say “YOLO.”

  • Laser-etched with messages ranging from “Fight the Patriarchy” to “I’m Only Here for the Snacks” (but not on this product, calm down).

  • Small enough to fit in your pocket, loud enough to start a conversation—or a mild argument.

  • Perfect for gifting, protesting, motivating, or passive-aggressively reminding someone they’re wrong.

Basically, they’re tiny wooden soapboxes for your keys. Clip one on and let the world know you’re not just unlocking doors—you’re unlocking vibes.